I can tell when you're doing it. I see the look on your face, and I can tell.
People sympathize, they feel pain with us. Often, they have been through this type of experience--dealing with cancer face-to-face, hospital waiting rooms and random acts of kindness and unexpected lab results. I truly appreciate that sharing look, the understanding look of those who feel that pain and want to make it better.
But the other folks. The ones who are secretly thinking--I'm so glad I'm not you. It's no secret. We, the people you pity, can see it in your eyes. I know you hang up the phone and tell someone that I'm 'holding up remarkably well', or that you 'don't know how she does it'.
Guess what? I don't want your pity, and I don't deserve it.
Don't get me wrong, it means a lot to me when someone will listen to my story. I can't tell you how much strength I've received from friends, acquaintances and strangers who are moved by my family's predicament and our fight against it. Your pity doesn't help fight. It doesn't help me keep going on the days I want to stop and scream. All it does is drain me--and I can't afford that.
Thanks.
3 comments:
Im glad you keep this blog it helps to write - The journey of the fight not easy but with the will and faith you conquer ...
beautifly written. would you mind if I posted your entry on my blog...given you credit?
my 8 month old daughter was diagnosed 5 weeks ago with NB...what a world we live in, right?!
I havne't had time to read your entire blog, but I hope to soon.
God bless you!
and if one more person opens their mouth and says "you're strong, I could never do that"....you have my permission to knock 'em upside the head ;-)
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